Nothing says Merry Christmas more like creepy AF disfigured doll decorations or hellish satanic baubles, AMIRITE? (Nah, 100% not).

But, are we going to list the WEIRDEST, creepiest, nightmare-inducing, soul-destroying Crimbo decorations for our own amusement? Yes. Yes we are.

Keep reading if you want to be scarred forever…

 

1. In your face, Santa

How did the design meeting go for this?

‘You know what things we should combine? The most revered feelgood figure of our time, and the bog.’

‘GREAT. Get it done.’

 

Oh wait, this kind of things never start with design meetings, do they?

 

2. Creating special mammaries

Don’t get us wrong, the human body is a wondrous, beautiful thing.

But that doesn’t mean you should make a Christmas ornament inspired by bits of it.

You start down that road and you’d probably end up with some ridiculous half-naked man/fish hybrid bauble.

No, that would be too far. Wouldn’t it?

 

3. Mermen-tal

Oh.

 

4. No, it’s spelt S-A-N-T-A

Well, these aren’t completely and utterly terrifying are they?

No nightmare material here at all. Just a pair of lovable devil baubles. Sleep well, kids!

 

5. Bless us, every one

Okay, so this decoration might be a little bit broken. But still, the sheer poetry of the scene can’t be denied.

 

6. Are you shore?

 

You remember Jersey Shore, don’t you? Of course you do.

And you want to be reminded of its utter awfulness every time you look at your Christmas tree, correct? Say no more fam.

 

7. Santa, baby

 

THERE. ARE. NO. WORDS.

Okay, STOP. That’s it, we’re done. This has all gone too far. You people are sick and you need help. These decorations would even give The Grinch nightmares.

Luckily, we’re here to help you sick puppies get some real Christmas spirit in you, with our epic Christmas party packages. Where we’ve got all you want for Christmas and more.

So check them out and banish those bad vibes forever. Weird Christmas decorations? Done.